Never the Same

I will never be the same again, I can never return, I've closed the door. I'll walk the path, I'll run the race, and I will never be the same again. - Geoff Bullock

This morning in my quiet time I was in the book of Ezekiel.  To give you the Apryll's paraphrase of what had happened up to the point I am going to tell you about in Ezekiel... Israel messed up. Big time.  To say God was a little bit peeved is an understatement.  So, in order to teach Israel a lesson show Israel He is God, they went through a season of punishment. (ps Yes, God is a God of love and redemption, but if you have lost your healthy fear of God..I recommend reading the OT, it'll be good for you.) Now it was time to redeem Israel, again so they would know He is God. So in Ezekiel chapter 46 God is giving Ezekiel a vision of the new Holy Temple and instructions for the Feasts. Verse 9 jumped off the page at me:

"When the people of the land come before the LORD at the appointed feasts, he who enters by the north gate to worship shall go out by the south gate, and he who enters by the south gate show go out by the north gate: no one shall return by the way of the gate by which he entered, but each shall go out straight ahead." ESV

What a beautiful picture!  I mean, yes it's logical, there are are hundreds of people flowing through the temple, and establishing traffic order, just makes sense...but I love the fact the He doesn't want people turning around and  going back to the place they just came from.  He doesn't want us making a U-turn back into our mess, He wants us to move forward, leaving worship changed, renewed, with a resolve to not go back to the mess He just redeemed us from.  The verse made me think of the song performed by Hillsong United song "I Will Never Be". I've sang this song hundreds of times in church...so many times there are Sunday's I'm singing it wondering if I really mean it.  If I will really leave that place of communing with God a different person than I was when I entered.  I need to stop making U-turns back into the comfort of old habits and sins; I need to go out straight ahead, changed, redeemed.  What about you?



Blessings!

Things that bring me joy:
* The peace and quiet that comes with morning
* A chance to live a new day
* A God who allows do-overs

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Crazy for Simplicity

In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My husband and I bought our time share in the fall of 2002, just before we were married.  It has been a tremendous blessing to us, because it has enabled us to go on several vacations we wouldn't have otherwise been able to afford.  So many of our friends mention how we travel a lot, and I suppose since we don't have children it is just a lifestyle we've adopted.  Jeff never really traveled before he met me.  His first plane ride was with me, and now I think it is fairly safe to say he has obtained the travel bug from me.

Traveling with our time share means that the destination we travel to there is a condo waiting for us. Sometimes it is one bedroom, sometimes two, but always a full condo...a couple of them have even been bigger than our own home.  It's nice because they have a full kitchen, which reduces the money we spend eating out, living room, bedrooms, etc.  There is something about these condos I mention EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.  How little stuff there is. Don't get me wrong, there is everything you could ever need to live here permanently....just nothing extra.  No nik-naks fighting for a space, everything has a home.  Today I was tidying up the condo getting ready for my husband to join me in the mountains, and it took no time at all.  It was so simple and efficient.  Every time I leave our time share I am determined to go home and get rid of every extra thing we simply don't need.  

I've mentioned several times on here how I'm tired of chaos, how I need to return to a place of simplicity, and the time is now.  I've been reading blogs, books, etc, on minimalism and the more I read the more I crave this simplistic lifestyle.  I truly hope it is something we can adopt.

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Wedding Anniversaries Spent Alone

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~ Simone Signoret

I'm in the beautiful mountains of Avon, CO.  The weather is crisp and cool making the fireplace in my condo even more inviting.  From my 4th floor balcony I can see the heated swimming pool below. The glow from the lights in the hot water beckon me with the steam wafting off the top of the water.  Many nights since I've arrived I have gazed down to the swimming pool and hot tub with the thought of going down for a soak.  Water soothes me like little else can, warm water surrounded by glorious mountains sounds like pure bliss...and maybe hints at romantic.  And that is why I haven't gone.  My husband couldn't get the time off of work to take our annual anniversary vacation, so I (in my infinite wisdom) decide it would be a good idea to go ahead and go alone.  Not wanting to go and partake in a romantic moment by myself, I stand in my room and gaze at the water from my window...drowning in self pity.  Tonight I look out and see a young couple embracing each other in the pool.  They have the pool to themselves, floating together underneath the evening stars.  I scowl at them from my window, mad for a moment that they get to be caught up in love on my wedding anniversary.  In my head I know it's silly to be upset at them, but in my heart I'm jealous and want that moment to be mine. With a heavy sigh I pick up my book to distract myself and retreat to the chair.  Later I hear roaring laughter coming from the area of the pool.  I look outside and the man is carrying his wife from the pool.  I can't help but giggle.  He sees me in the window and shouts out "WE JUST GOT MARRIED". I smile and nod with a little wave and retreat from the window.  I remember our honeymoon and Jeff carrying me into the ocean, and can't believe it's been 9 years.  It seems time has flown by, yet time has changed us so much.  We aren't the same couple we were then...thank goodness. I cannot wait for him to join me in the mountains, I miss him like crazy.

When is Enough, Enough?

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. - John Burroughs

I'm sitting here at Starbucks, in the serenity of the mountains in Avon, CO.  The crackle of the fire place warms the small cafe, jazz music flows endless melodies, and chitter chatter of employees and patrons surrounds me.  The lady to the left of me is working away on her Macbook Air and the gentleman to the left of me is reading on his iPad 2 and I start to get a little bit jealous.  It's crazy though because what I have is more than enough.  I do have my iPhone and the original iPad...and my PC laptop works great for what I need...do I really need to have everything Apple, and to always have the latest and greatest gadgets?  There is so much more to this life than stuff.  We have become such a materialistic culture that measures status on how much we acquire, instead of things that actually matter. Instead of drooling over the Macbook, I could be deepening my relationship with my husband.  I could be reading things that lift my spirit and push me to grow.  I could be reaching out to my friends that, all too often, I neglect.  There are so many things in life I can be doing better, and none of them have anything to do with acquiring more stuff. I'm tired of stuff, it is suffocating...I'm tired of buying...I'm tired of seeking a false sense of happiness.  Stuff is such a burden, if anything I want less of it.  So....they can keep their new flashy items...I'll stick with what I've got.

What brings me joy:
*Jazz music
*Good coffee
*Cool mountain air

Undo What I've Become

The Spirit is Love expressed towards man as redeeming love, and the Spirit is Truth, and the Spirit is the Holy Spirit. Redemption is inconceivable without truth and holiness. - Roland Allen

Undo - Rush of Fools

I've been here before

Now here I am again

Standing at the door

Praying You'll let me back in

To label me a prodigal would be

Only scratching the surface

Of who I've been known to be

Turn me around, pick up up

Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place

Of forgiveness and grace

I need You, I need Your help

I can't do this myself

You are the only One

Who can undo what I've become

I focused on the score

But I could never win

Trying to ignore

A life of hiding my sin

To label me 

A hypocrite would be

Only scratching the surface

Of who I've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up

Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place

Of forgiveness and grace

I need You, I need Your help

I can't do this myself

You are the only one

Who can undo what I've become

Make every step lead me back to you

The sovereign way that You

Turn me around, pick me up

Undo what I've become

Bring me back to the place

Of forgiveness and grace

I need You, I need Your help

I can't do this myself

You are the only one

Who can undo what I've become

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Thankful for November

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven. - Johannnes A Gaertner

I think if I had to pick a month that was my favorite...it would be a toss up between two months.  February and November.  February, to those who know me...is fairly obvious.  It is absolutely not because of Valentines day (bleh)...my birthday is in February.  I love birthdays, I love to celebrate birthdays, and I love that there is an entire month devoted to me. haha  Self indulgent? Maybe...but I think a month focused on the celebration of life and living it to the fullest isn't necessarily a bad thing...but that is an entirely other blogpost and not the focus of today.


As much as I love celebrating my birth month, I think November actually tops it.  November is a significant month for the hubs and I.  We had our first date on 11/11/1997, and we were married on 11/9/2002.  I can't imagine anyone I would have rather spent the last 14 years with.

I love the focus people have on being thankful in November. This month on Facebook people are listing something they are thankful for each day leading up to Thanksgiving. I wish this spirit of giving thanks was something that would extend beyond the month of November. This week I challenged my youth group kids to write down everything they are thankful for.  I have often spoke about doing the same thing, and it's high time I started.

I am beyond excited that on Thanksgiving I am surrounded by family.  I love time with family.  I love the late night card games, the shopping sprees, the shared meals (especially with Uncle Ed's cooking).  This time with family is what memories are made of.  This time leaves me fills me with love, and for a short period of time nothing else matters.  I cherish my family, and cannot wait for the clan to converge on our town for the holiday.

Things that bring me joy:
* Fresh mountain air
* Hearing my husbands voice

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Sucked into Negativity

So I was sitting in the normal spot that I retreat to for my morning quiet times.  Quietly writing away and happily sipping my coffee when I look up and across from me is the recliner my husband usually sits in.  Instantly that takes me back to a conversation from last night when I was sitting here on the couch, and he was sitting in the chair.  The annoyance I felt at that time...which I hadn't thought of since...came flooding back to me. I started getting annoyed.  Then it hit me how easily I can get sucked into negativity.  My poor husband is in bed peacefully sleeping, and in my head I'm planning my retort on a conversation we had 12 hours ago and he has completely forgotten. I stopped myself right away and thought "I need to be thankful for my husband."

I've also been extremely negative about work.  There are so many changes happening right now, and I'm ashamed to admit I have been trapped in negative thinking. Like "this is never going to work", "these changes are going to make things horrible", "the person who thought of these obviously don't know our job"...etc etc.  Instead, I should be focusing on the positive (like I actually HAVE a job) and be thankful.

Sometimes I feel like such an Israelite. Read through the Old Testament and you'll see if anyone had the spiritual gift of complaining, it was them.  I wonder if it is human nature sometimes to seek out the negative, and just wallow around in it.  I wonder what a difference it would make if we stopped complaining, stopped being negative, and instead chose to be thankful.

I stumbled upon these verses:

Philippians 2:14 Do all things without grumbling or questioning

uh huh, ALL things. It doesn't say "try not to grumble"...nope, it says Don't.Do.It.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

James 5:9 Do not grumble against one another, brother, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door.

Convicted yet? I sure am.  I am thankful for my husband.  He is a good man who spoils me rotten.  We have our disagreements, but I can't expect perfection from an imperfect man...anymore than he can expect it from me.  I need to be thankful for my job, that it's changing and it's not going anywhere.

Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, or order to bring praise to God.
1Thessalonians 5:11 Encourage one another and build each other up.
Hebrews 3:13 Encourage one another daily.

I know I need to stop myself when I start being negative, and speak the positive into the situation/conversation.  Do you?


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