Tonight I'm Melancholy

It is 11:30 at night on July 31st.

I cannot get it out of my head that in 30 minutes it will be August 1st, 2008.

I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm loosing sleep over it.

I wish I could sleep through it. In fact, who could I write to get the date forever removed from the calendar??

I can't believe it's been 10 years.

August 1, 1998 was the worst day of my life. It's a day that I'm sure started out just like any other day. It was a day I had promised my grandma I would take her to Black Hawk. I didn't want to go. I had a bad feeling about it. It was like God was whispering in my ear to not go. Why didn't I listen? My grandma was so excited to go that's why I didn't listen. Oh who am I kidding? I still don't listen all that well...anyway... She had been talking about it all morning. I loved to see her smile. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. How could I say no to that?

So up the mountain we went. We had a fun afternoon. My grandma saved every nickle, dime, and quarter in a jar. She loved slot machines, and looked forward to any chance she got to go. We laughed a lot, and we talked. We at lunch at the restaurant I used to work at. I really hope she had a great time.

Then it started raining. Grandma didn't want to go yet. She thought we should wait the rain out. Another chance I had to listen...God was speaking louder now. I was worried the weather would get worse though, and so I wanted to get down the canyon.

I wasn't driving fast. You didn't dare drive crazy with Grandma in the car. I don't even really know how it happened. They say I hydroplaned. I hit a bus head on. A really big bus. The bus won. You know that bus barely had a scratch???

Then she was gone. The most beautiful woman in the world opened her eyes, closed them, and she was gone. A witness did CPR, and she lived for 3 more months. She was never able to leave the hospital though. She hated hospitals.

I miss her so much. My back and neck have been killing me this week. It's like even my body remembers. It's been 10 years and still I cry. I wish I could hear her voice.

She loved Jesus. For the months after the accident she was begging Him to take her home. I know she is there Him now.

The song Homesick by Mercy Me always makes me think of her. Here it is:

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now



I miss you Grandma.

Erin aka psycho dog

Don't let her fool you. She isn't as sweet and innocent as she looks in this picture. I should be posting pictures of her destruction. ha ha



Blessings!

What Condiment Are You?

Thought I would post something silly today. Play along!

Blessings!

You Are Barbeque Sauce

You are a social person. You enjoy cooking for other people. You are both skillful and competitive. You enjoy mastering hard tasks. You appreciate complexity more than simplicity. Your taste in food tends to lean toward interesting flavors. You appreciate exotic spice combinations. You tend to like cutting edge, fusion cuisine. You get along with all personalities from a distance. Except salsa personalities, who always seem to annoy you.

What Condiment Are You?

My Love and I

I found this cool website and had to play. :) I might actually get pictures in some sort of scrapbooks this way.

Blessings!

The Slow, Fat...What???

When I tell people I am training for a triathlon...I generally get looked up and down with an expression that says: "Are you CRAZY???" Well, yes, I probably am certifiably insane, but I have to tell you: I LOVE IT!

So, because I'm so excited about this next adventure in my life, I have to share with you the book that inspired me.

Slow Fat Triathlete: Live Your Athletic Dreams in the Body You Have Now by Jayne Williams

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I loved this book!! It was so inspirational. I recommend to anyone who wants to get off the couch and get moving.


View all my reviews.

Blessings,

Thank You God for Girlfriends!!!

Have you ever had one of those friends that knows you far better than you will probably ever know yourself? The kind of friend who looks in your eyes and asks what is wrong, while you are smiling, laughing, saying everything is "fine". I love those friends. Too often I (and I think I'm not alone here...) don't tell friends what is going on with my life. I mean why burden them when I can totally handle it by myself?!? (HA!!!) How freeing it is when B looks at me and knows I need to talk. Life was never meant to be lived alone. I think God knew we needed girlfriends to keep us real, too keep us balanced, and tell funny stories with until we are laughing so hard our iced, non-fat, sugar-free vanilla, lattes come out of our nose.

Thanks B I LOVE YOU!!

I met Jesus in Dallas

Is it possible to both look forward to and dread an event at the same time? That is how I felt before leaving for Dallas. See, last week we took 7 teens down to Dallas, TX for a CIY Know Sweat Mission trip. What is that you might ask? Well it's mission trip by day and conference(worship/speaker)by night. For the mission part we had the opportunity to fix up two elderly people's houses.

I was excited for the opportunity to get my hands dirty and serve God's people. I was dreading how the kids might react and wondering who might do what to get in trouble.

So what happened? The kids blew me away, they were simply AMAZING. Sure there was drama (I mentioned they were teenagers, right?), but they worked it out. They were totally into the service project, and I was blown away by the amount of love they were putting into it. One of the kids even asked if we could do more projects like this at home. Wow! I am so incredibly proud of them; God is good!

I praise God for the chance to see Jesus through the eyes of the people we served, and even through the eyes of our teens. It was an incredible experience, and one I truely will never forget.



Blessings,